It is the New Year and there is no better time to give your spouse a gift certificate for a massage. A little sign of appreciation for all they have done for the family this past year and a reset button for the upcoming year.  A kind gesture that says I care and I want you to take time for yourself . . . well, honey I know it is the thought that counts but you may want to read the fine print on that Groupon next time. Here are the top 7 signs that the Fancy Spa Gift Certificate just might be to an old fashion massage parlor.

1. It is located in a sketchy part of town.
2. It is in a strip mall next to a hookah lounge.
3. There are 2 other “spas” across the street.
4. The windows are covered with newspapers.
5. All the light bulbs are red.
6. No one speaks English and there are no professional licenses hanging on the wall.
7. If it looks like they offer happy endings, they probably do.