I had no idea the magnitude of responsibilities that it took to run a household. I happened to write them down one day when I was trying to calculate the amount of money my husband owed me for all my services when he pissed me off.



-toiletries (Men must think there is a toiletry God and whenever we are out of something like toothpaste, soap, toilet paper a new one magically appears)


-dinners 365 days/year (Even if you eat out someone has to come up with the plan and order it or go get it)

-changing air filters and water filters and water softener pellets

-kids doctor appointments/dentist appointments/ haircuts

-car washing/oil changes

– strip wallpaper, paint

-hang curtains and blinds

– cut the grass, rake the leaves

-hairdresser (relaxing, braiding, flat ironing)

-pay the bills


-budget money

-vet appointments, ear cleanings, teeth brushing, force feeding medicine

– pooper scooper

– remove stitches

– clean and bandage wounds

– clean up bodily fluids

-signing kids up for all of their activities

-get kids up for school, get kids to school, homework, teacher conferences

-get kids to all school functions, birthday parties, and sporting events, play dates

-walk the dog

-in charge of buying cards and presents for every niece, nephew, sister, brother mother, and father birthdays and holidays

-fix any electronic device in the house which does not work

-fix any toy or bike which breaks down

-plunge toilets (with four kids who like to eat fruit I was plunging toilets every other day)

-sex (he considers it payment for all my services but I consider it a chore)

Where is your father to clean up this mess?

Then I got to thinking about what my husband’s responsibilities are around the house and I came up with:

-take out the trash

-make sure the cable is working and we have all 500 channels especially ESPN and Skinamax

-at the slightest chance that we ever have an intruder his ass is the first to investigate

Derek admiring his yard work

After reading these lists you may think I have a husband who is mechanically retarded.  You conclude right.  My husband must have missed shop class in high school because his mind just does not understand the mechanics of how anything works.  His idea of home improvement is hanging a picture.  If there is not a ball involved he can’t figure it out.  Because he is mechanically challenged and is on the road a lot, I have inherited most of the “man” duties.  I cut grass, weed eat, shovel snow, grill, seal the deck, wash the car, and clean out the garage.  If I do all the “woman” duties and all the “man” duties what does my husband do around the house?  I used to think he was an idiot but now that I think about it he just might be a sheer genius.  And as I recollect, the last time I was shoveling snow I remember seeing the woman across the street, the woman to the right of our house and the woman to the left of our house all shoveling snow too. There wasn’t a man among us.  I would have to say to the men, “Very well played.” Not only do you have us taking care of your kids, cleaning your house, doing your laundry, and fixing your dinner but your fake idiocy has lulled us into doing your jobs too.

The other male in the household

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