We have started Phase 1 of the reopening of our state. It has been a long eight weeks. I have stopped watching the news because the human spirit can only take so much death, fear, and uncertainty. As I look back to that fateful March 15th date when the Governor announced he was going to shut down Nevada, and knowing that sometimes we have to find humor even in the darkest time, these are the lessons that stood out to me.
1) Humans are social beings but no one was ever meant to spend this much time together.
2) Teachers should make a million dollars a year.
3) I didn’t know one person could expel that much gas in 24 hours.
4) Naps help pass time and so does Fireball.
5) No other time in your life are you supposed to “embrace the burn” except in a workout video.
6) Everywhere I go I feel like someone is going to rob me.
7) I never realized how many crime shows there are on TV – Forensic Files, Fatal Vows, Betrayal, Snapped, 48 Hours, Dateline, Married with Secrets, Murder Comes Home, Diabolical, Hometown Homicide, Homicide for the Holidays. The moral of the story is don’t piss off your wife.
8) Video conferencing has allowed me into my coworker’s houses and I have come to the conclusion that no one changes their fire alarm batteries.
9) I have totally underestimated the importance of a studio audience.
10) The mind is a terrible thing to waste. Keep your brain busy. My last 5 searches on my internet history are: “how to get rid of butt acne”, “where can I buy an eye mask that says “Fu*k Off’ “, “what happens when you combined Aleve and alcohol”, “Chinese food near me”, and “how to make homemade toothpaste”