I knew just by the circumstances that this was going to be a tough year.  Here we go again – looking for a place to live.  This will be our third move in 12 months.  Even though we technically did not move into a house in Champaign, whenever you sell a house, pack the moving van and have a contract on a new house it is consider a move in my book.  Remember when I said, “I wanted to move around and see different parts of the country?”  Well, be careful what you wish for?!?

In addition to moving costs we had to buy a car and car insurance.  Derek was always given a university car to drive when he worked in college but that was not the policy in the NBA.  This little transition year was costing us a pretty penny.  I was starting to wonder if the kids and I should have just have stayed in Cincinnati with my parents for the year.   Derek could have taken our one and only car and found a cheap one bedroom apartment.  Every day I wondered how we got ourselves in this predicament.  Every day was a reminder of a dream shattered.

I can tell you that for three months I woke up every day pissed off.  Pissed off that I married a coach, pissed off at Coach Kruger, pissed off at our hole in the wall rental house, and pissed off at our finances.  We were living in limbo.  We had no idea where we were going to be in nine months.  We had no stability, no security, and no guarantees of anything.  I did a lot of running and soul searching those first three months.  Sometimes I just wanted to keep on running thinking maybe I could run away from it all but I always came back.  In hindsight, I think I was going through a grieving process.  I had to grieve the loss of a dream and everything that came with that dream.