As the wife of a coach, you learn to live your life like your husband is not there and if he does show up then it is a pleasant surprise.  Never plan anything because something will always come up – a recruit is having second thoughts about committing so he has to fly down to see him, the head coach comes up with a new play and wants him to come in the office at 9:00 pm to run it by him, the athletic director needs you to speak in front of the alumni club, the best player is failing English so he has to monitor study hall.  I could go on and on.  Basically, when your life is determined by the choices of 18 year old boys there is going to be chaos no matter how hard you try and plan.

Most people think that once the season is over my husband becomes a nine to fiver and we have family dinners every night.  That is a complete misconception.  In fact, I like the season the best because at least I have a game schedule and know where he is going to be and when.  During the off season there is recruiting, home visits, official visits, unofficial visits, individual work outs, camps, clinics, university fund raisers, and golf outings with the boosters – all of which take time away from his wife and children.  It always perturbed me when he would go to these booster or alumni golf outings and tell me – “I am really working hard.”  He is playing golf and eating filet mignon with baby carrots while I am up to my ears in dirty diapers eating peanut butter and jelly and macaroni and cheese.  Who is really working here?

Occasions which included band, choir, girl scouts or science fair projects Derek seemed to have work functions . . .
. . . but events that included sports he always seemed to manage his way out of work functions.


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