At times I think being married to a coach is more complicated than being a single mom. If I was a single mother I would live in a house close to my family where I could get help and support. But a coach will knock you up and move you further and further away from any family or support. We have never lived in the same state as either of our families. Because you don’t have the luxury of free babysitting, your kids end up going everywhere with you – dentists, dry cleaners, grocery store, veterinarian, gym, church, mall, gynecologist. Many of times my legs were up in stirrups and my kids were at the head of the bed playing peekaboo with me.
When you live far away from family your help comes in spurts. I remember counting down the days to when my parents were coming for a visit. The parents come for a visit and you get a week of pleasure and then they leave and you are on your own for three months until they visit again. It is like a tease. I usually ended up more tired when they left because I tried to get everything I could get done without having to haul the children everywhere. I used to have a fantasy that my kids could spend the night at their grandparents’ house and just once I didn’t have to wake up to a crying child. I fantasized about free babysitting. I fantasized that my brother or sister would just stop by the house and take the kids to McDonalds and a movie. I dreamt that my entire family (including my husband) would be present when I gave birth. I dreamt that my family could come to by kids’ birthday parties. I dreamt that my parents could come watch my kids play soccer, basketball, volleyball, and football. Or that my brother could watch my dogs for me when we went out of town and I didn’t have to pay for a kennel. Or if I had car trouble there was someone to call when my husband was out of town. These are simple dreams that are a reality for the average family but can only be dreams for the coach’s family.