Coaching is a tough profession and your friends come and go. I usually knew we were moving soon when I went to the grocery store and ran into someone I knew. That meant we have been somewhere long enough for me to fit in. Once I started to feel comfortable in a new location was usually the time my husband said we were moving.
Sometimes you don’t want to put up the time to get to know people because you know you are going to be moving in a year or two anyway so you start to put up walls. I know I do it. I try to be pleasant and present with everyone I know. I will say “hi” to everyone, I will become friends with the neighbors and reach out to them if they need help, I will coach my kids teams and become acquaintances with the parents but very rarely will I let anyone into my inner thoughts or concerns because it takes time to develop that deep of a friendship and I don’t want to put that much effort into getting to know someone and then five months later get up and move and never see that person again. I could have friends that I spoke to every day at the gym or in the neighborhood but once we moved I never spoke to them again. Hard to believe you can talk to someone every day and then in a blink of an eye never talk again. But after a while you get numb to it and the emotion is gone. Sometimes there would be going-away parties and I wouldn’t shed a tear or be the slightest bit depressed. It was a way of life for me. As sad as it may sound, there were times I was hoping to move just so I wouldn’t have to deal with certain people or situations anymore. I wouldn’t have to deal with the annoying guy at the gym or my child’s whiny friend, or the irritating soccer mom in charge of snacks. One time I couldn’t wait to move because I didn’t like the church we attended – the masses were so long and the homilies were boring. I had one house that had a lousy garbage disposal and nasty carpet and I was counting down the days until we left that location. I am sure there are much better ways to deal with bad carpet and bothersome church services like buy some new carpet or switch churches but I just figured we would be moving soon so I can survive until then.